I'm sorry I can't be perfect
by xSilentNightmare
Summary: Cloud had begun to have nightmares of Zack dying. It slowly began to take its toll on him along with how Sephiroth had been abusing him. He was in love with Zack but never told him till one night when everything went wrong. First fic,read and review


_Im sorry I can't be perfect_. The young blonde's hands shook as he wrote out his final words. Tears fell from his blue eyes as he continued to write. _Now its just to late and we can't go back._A empty bottle of pills layed next to the letter he was writing. He knew he only had a matter of minutes before he began to slip away.  
The blonde boy by the name of Cloud continued to write as fast as he could just wanting to explain why he had done this,to let the person he was writing to,understand. He watched himself write the words. _Zack,I know you can probably no longer love me,and I cannot go on having these nightmares. This feeling deep inside me that you are going to die,I would rather it be me then you,so that is what I am doing. I also wanted to tell you something else..._  
His shaking hands kept writing as he began to remember the things that had happened over time. Since he had first met Zack. How happy he was,how he wished he could have told Zack how he really felt about him,that his love was deeper then a friendship love,but everything in him feared that Zack would freak out and never speak to him again,so he kept it wrote a little more as the tears kept falling down his face. _We lost it all.. Our friendship,I am sorry it has come to an end like this,but its what is best for you. I break a little more every time you yell at me,I can't stand another fight. I'm never gonna be good enough for you. Its just to late and we can't go back._ He slowly began to see his vision blur as he remembered what had brought him to do this.

Everything had been okay pretty much,other then what Sephiroth had been doing to him. Sephiroth,that man,he felt like he ruined his life,before he came along Cloud was a happy boy pretty much,he finally had a best friend in his life,the first one he had ever had. But then that silver haired man that everyone loved came along and ripped his innocence away forcefully. He took everything from him,and he continued to do it whenever he could. He would call Cloud out after his classes and take him to his quarters and force him to do stuff. It was always so painful to Cloud. Sephiroth never prepared or anything,just would force Cloud down on the bed and force it on him. Cloud would keep his eyes shut then entire time just wishing someone would do something,but since Sephiroth was the highest in command he was allowed to do whatever he wanted. He slowly remembered when Zack first asked him what is wrong. He had,had to go shopping with Zack right after it had happened once,the pain was almost unbearable. All he did was lie to Zack and tell him it was from training,and the raven haired SOLDIER just believed him. Everything in him wished he hadn't have. After five months of that happening at least three times a week Cloud began to break. He fell into a deep depression. He just couldn't take it. He began to self mutilate. That day Zack had found the cuts on Cloud's arm and began to yell at him in fear,but Cloud hadn't understood that Zack was only upset,hadn't seen that Zack loved him just like he loved Zack. He had then ran off to his room and swallowed the pills and began to write his letter.

The blonde teenager continued to remember more as he began to drift away. He quickly finished up his letter. _Zack... What I wanted to tell you is that Sephiroth is the reason I began to hurt myself,he stole my innocence,well he hurt me more then I can say.._ He slowly began to cry more as he finished off the letter. _Zack I love you,I have loved you for a long time,and not a friendship love,I really love you. I just hope you won't miss me to much,I know that you are angry with me,I should have been stronger,should have not let Sephiroth destroy me inside when he did that,but I couldn't it was to much for me._ The blonde boy took in a deep shakey breath as he stared down at the paper. _Zbyee_

_Zack please go on with life,you have so many other friends,I was never a good friend to you anyway.. I will always love you,and it brings me peace knowing you will live a long happy life instead of dying saving my life._

He slowly folded the letter and fell back on the bed remembering the dreams he had been having,the dreams that made Zack start to get fed up with him. He had begun to have them about a month before then. He remembered the dream so clearly since he had been having it every night since then. The dream played through his mind. It started as a simple mission back to his home town to check out a reactor,he had been sent as a guard to watch over Zack and Sephiroth. It seemed that was all it was going to be but when Sephiroth found what was in the reactor and found out about himself,about the experiments which had made him. He began to believe he was a monster and locked himself away in the basement of the manor for days and days. When he came out he burned down the town and killed most of the town's people,including his mom. He then went back to the reactor and hurt Tifa as well. Tifa... The girl Cloud had a crush on growing up. He knew what he was doing was breaking his promise to her. He continued to remember the dream as he drifted into a sleep from the bottle of sleeping pills he had taken. He had gotten those from a scientist when Zack forced him to go see someone about how he was having nightmares,they did nothing for him until now. He slowly closed his eyes and felt himself slipping away as he let the dream flash through his head.

Zack had gone after Sephiroth and tried to fight him but was overpowered and defeated. Cloud then came and took Zack's buster sword and impaled Sephiroth with it. But Sephiroth wasn't that easy to defeat. He came out of the reactor after Cloud had ran out and back over to Tifa to check on her. Zack told Cloud to finish Sephiroth. Cloud stood up and charged Sephiroth but was blocked then stabbed by him. He used all his strength he had and threw Sephiroth over the side of the reactor into the life stream. Things should have been okay,but then the dream got worse. The scientist Hojo took him and Zack in as test subjects. Cloud gave into mako poisoning and they spent four years there. Zack got him out though,Zack saved him... He wished the dream had ended there,but it hadn't. Zack carried Cloud with him,escaping from ShinRa,protecting Cloud while he was almost lifeless. And in the end Zack gave his life to save Cloud. He fought against an entire army and was destroyed by them. Cloud remembered how real it was,how very very real the rain felt as he watched Zack in his last moments,how he felt his heart being crushed. Slowly his blue eyes closed as he slipped oncoscious.


End file.
